Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Ax: “Ah the Mormon standoff. Where each paticipant’s allowed to have five guns.”

[luffy316]

Kevin: “Gabe’s mouth breaks into a maximum smile.”
Guillaume: “Good news? What? What?”
Greg: “He looks over his shoulder and then can’t read so he keeps asking.”

[luffy316]

Greg: “Am armored raccoon skin hat.”
Kevin: “That is the most expensive fur hat ever made.”
Smith: “We actually made that from an armored raccoon.”
Josh: “Shortly before it was killed by a solid snake.”

[luffy316]

Josh: “If they weren’t trying to summon hell on earth I’d say we’re the bad guys. We are, but we’re not the worst guys.”

Janes: “Madman,’ he said from his ghost jet pack.”

[luffy316]

Janes: “As Roboute Guilliman used to say, ‘I’m Rick James.”

[luffy316]

James: “I don’t know what the name of the guy with the neon beard, but I’ve named him Funkle Sam.”

Ax: “It’s more about ancestor worship.”
James: “Thank you, emperor dad!”

[luffy316]

James: “Are there any questions about the campaign?”
Josh: “Why was it so much fun?!”

James: “He specifically doesn’t have a stat block because then players would kill him. I statted him and you killed him.”

[luffy316]

Nerdo: “looks like the refrigerator was running... after all!”
Greg: “Do we get the sunglasses?”
Kevin: “Yea he lowers the sunglasses to show his second pair of smaller sunglasses.”

Nerdo: “I’ve driven one of these before. I call the handlebars.”
Boom boom: “I call the clutch.”
Caution: “I’ll stand on the back to balance it out.”
Kevin: “Thats the bigth seat!”

[luffy316]

Kevin: “Today I bruised my leg by bumping into a tray table.”
James: “Veneer if confidence, Kevin!”
Kevin: “I thought the emphasis was on veneer. I’m trying to keep it razor thin.”

[luffy316]

James: “The smell of alcohol and white scrubs.”
Max: “Thats is. A bunch of white scrubs.”

[luffy316]

Matt: “The ‘joke’ was Michael Bay.”
Danielle: “You just summed up living with the Colmars in one sentence.”

[luffy316]

Ax: “Oh Khorne’s balls, what is that?”
Kevin: “By Khorne’s massive brass balls.”
Matt: “That reminds me of my favorite swear from the books. Just an imperial guard going ‘By the Emporer’s hot balls!”
Max: “That’s just how I pictured them. Majesticles.”

[luffy316]

Kevin: “It’s too small for you to wear a hat, but it’s big enough for Pyramid Head to wear as a hat.”
James: “Why are those your first and second units of measurement?!”
Matt: “It gave me the best impression of how big it was!”

[luffy316]

Matt: “Rehardless of how locked the door is, Boomboom kicks it open.”
Kevin: “Nerdi kicks it closed.”

Boomboom: “Ugh. This tastes like tar. And sadnesss.”

[luffy316]

Boomboom: “Oi! I had my balls blasted once!”
Matt: “He just walks inside. There is no ending to that.”
Nerdo: “That’s alright. Helmets take more lives than they save.”