Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

James : “It’s ‘popping and melting his eyes like super-heated eggs.”
Danielle: “Is it weird that now I want eggs?”
Janes: “Yes.”

[luffy316]

Greg: "How much do you think a guard gets to do at a Pocky factory? He's just killing time. ...and witnesses."

[luffy316]

Me: "I'm the first mate AND the captain!"
James: "You're first mate on your own ship? That's some self esteem issues."
Me: "Yeaaa she's got that."

[luffy316]

Matt: "Susan sent me a text saying any and all squelching noises you heard was me putting on hand lotion. By the way, James was worried."

Kevin: "You have a degree in Space Marine medicine."
Matt: "The hazing it ridiculous."
James: "Eat this volcano."

Kevin: "His power axe can't malfunction."
Matt: "He loses his grip and drops it axe first so it sinks into the earth until it hits the center of the planet."
Ax: "Then his space marine pants fall down and we all laugh at him."

[luffy316]

Kevin: “Make am Agility year.”
Ax: “Nope! I fall in my ass and the girl I like is there.”
Matt: “Spend a Fate Point.”
Kevin: “This is some bullshit.”
Ax: “You know what? I will. Nope! I land and shit my pants! What’s that? I’m receiving urgent information. His parents are getting divorced!”

[luffy316]

Matt: "She sends you a bagel shop."
Kevin: "3-D printing is amazing!"

[luffy316]

James: “They did a Wound to me! They made me bleed my own blood!”
Ax: “You are the absolute worst.”
Max: “I think at this point in your reconstruction that might not be your own blood.”
James: “It’s mine now. I own it. It belongs to me!”

[luffy316]

Kevin: “They’re like The Big Show, but if instead he was two Big Shows.”

[luffy316]

Greg: "At this point the shrimp guy is Kayla's best friend and worst enemy."
Max: "It's her Stand by now."

[luffy316]

Josh: “Legal means a lot of things.”

[luffy316]

Ax: “Firewall doesn’t need good props. They need effective people.”

[luffy316]

Ax: “They let Hatsune Miku rum for so long that it gained sentience.”
Max: “Nobody expected it but nobody was disappointed.”
Josh: “That’s what’s happening right now.”
Max: “Everyone shrugged and went ‘well it was gonna happen eventually.”

[luffy316]

Max: "Why is it called The Badger?"
Greg: "Because it makes badges."
James: "Spend TWO Point Points because I hate it."

[luffy316]

Max: "The only morphine endorsed by president Dustin of Stranger Things."
James: "He did a lot of questionable things to get on the ballot."

[luffy316]

James: "All he asks is that I don't talk about Taco Bell and I won't do it!"