Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Max: "Stilts is just chewing his meat and spitting out shrapnel like watermelon seeds."

[luffy316]

Travis: "You are making me desperate to eat some ribs."
Matt: "Ribs are made of pork."
Travis: "You can get beef ribs."
Matt: "This changes everything."

[luffy316]

Kevin: "We have more hours tgan then. One of many ways we're better than Matt Groening."

James: "I am an ugly bastard underneath this armor."
Max: "I will fight you for that title!"

Inquisitor Ulysses: "I should warn you all that when you join my unit, you take on a debit: 100 xenos hides."
Matt: "God dammit..."
*laughter
Max: "You mother fucker!"
Matt: "Fuck you..."
Max: "You horrible piece of shit. I will find you! I hate you!"

[luffy316]

Danielle: "Check outthese guns. They help me carry these guns."

[luffy316]

Kevin: "I love you all like my own children. I sent them to die too."

[luffy316]

Security Goblin: “You have desecrated the sanctity if Cabelas!”
Stilts the Wooly: “Maybe!”

Belp: “Plant AND meat! That’s all the food groups!”

[luffy316]

Matt: “Dusty realizes that actions speak louder than words and guns are louder than actions.”

[luffy316]

Stilts: “Stupid stupid run!”
Matt: “As Stilts yells words (?) of encouragement (?) stop panicking as you realize he’s right: running IS stupid.”

[luffy316]

Kevin: "I don't know how that came about. Oysters are the least sexy thing I could think of."
Matt: "They're an aphrodesiac."
Max: "Yea, it's the actual chemical compounds in them."
Susan: "And they kind of look like vaginas if you squint."
Max: "I don't think that's a thing."
Matt: "So's a ham sandwich."
Kevin: "That's a hell of a squint."

[luffy316]

Fizzler: “You know classic Star Trek where Kirk defeats the computer by figuring out some contradiction deep within its programming? We’re just going to confuse the fuck out of this one until it explodes.”

[luffy316]

Matt: "This is your chance to get in on the ground floor of the mayonaisse house.
Kevin: "I want to get OFF the mayonnaise house!"
Matt: "You cannot get off the mayonnaise house!"
Max: "Mr Bones' wild mayonnaise."

[luffy316]

Max: "You're damn right! Everything is better than stone! Especially me!"

[luffy316]

Ray: “Okay! Are thee any fathers’ sons or fathers’ daughters or fathers’ non-descript, non-gendered children?”

[luffy316]

James: “One of many podcasts where we all pretend to wear pants.”
Kevin: “Who’s pretending?”

[luffy316]

Guillaume: “Did I die? Like actually die?”
Gabe: “Yea.”
Missy:”A little bit...”
Doctor: “Very much so.”
Clem: “That was not a little bit.”
Missy: “He wasn’t dead long.”
Clem: “He was real dead though.”
Guillaume: “I killed the other man too though, right?”
Missy: “Yes.”
Guillaume: “Hey! Net gain, right?! Guillaume will never die (again)!”

James: “I want to famous people to death.”