Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

James: "Actually you'd get Area Knowledge: Junkyard. Junkyard and Salt Lake City are technically two different areas."
Ax: "Are you sure John Wick didn't write this one?"
James: "Dammit, Ax. I put up with this in 7th Sea but not in Deadlands too!"

James: "Let game have the French press.
'Hey, Henri!"
Josh: "He just punches it."
Ax: "The French press is just Guillaume."
James: "The French-Canadian press."

[luffy316]

Gabe: "Tell me what action it is first. What exactly IS Skullchucker?"
Clem: "Wow. You're a coward, huh?"

[luffy316]

Greg: "What parts of him are robotic anyway?"
James: "One arm and one leg. Which is unusual around here."
Josh: "That's how he does his patented Shcrampum Special."
Greg: "The Shcrampum Shuffle?!"

Gabe: "Technically he's 60 to 70% gentleman."

Shcrampum: "So you're going to fool the betting crowd by using a stolen cane?"
Gabe: "Yes."
Shcrampum: "While wearing a jet pack?"

[luffy316]

Shcrampum: "The team's called The Junkyard Dawgs. Spelled d a w g."
Guillaume: "Ohhhh. ... I think that's the wrong way to spell it. Anyone? Back me up on this?"
Clem: "No that sounds right to me."

Guillaume: "Zerr we go! Now we have some variety on ze team! Zeywon't know what hit zem... but it will be a pipe."

[luffy316]

Guillaume: "We are playing Skullchuckers!"
Missy: "I..."
Susan: "Looks to Mina, because this is the responsibie adult in this room."
*group breaks into laughter
Missy: "I mean put if everyone you're the one person I trust."
Guillaume: "Really!?"
Clem: "That's messed up."
Missy: "I get the things that you do but Mina's the one I trust to rescue me out of a castle kind of thing."
Mina: *uproarious laughter

[luffy316]

James: "Shcrampum dings a little bell that's by the side if the door as he goes in and an old man hobbles out."
Old Man: "I told you NEVER to ring that bell!!! I told you, specifically YOU, never to ring that bell!"

[luffy316]

Shopkeep: "You look like champions. Put that in a Wheaties box."
Susan: "I'm pretty sure that type of cereal is only given to prisoners to stop masturbation."
James: "No, it still fits..."
Greg: "Wait, I missed that. What quote would go on the box?"
Ax: "He means putting us on the box will prevent masturbation."
Greg: "Ohh! Just Guillaume giving a thumbs up."
James: "While wrapped in dry worm leather."
Greg: "Going 'Not today!"
James: "Not today, Satan!"
Greg: "Tempt me not with your fat bearded Frenchman."

Clem: "Hear you chucklin when I feed you your own briefcase."
Passerby: "I'll have you know my briefcase is delicious."
Clem: "Oh. This intrigues me. Do you have a business card?"
Passerby: "Yes. They are also edible."
Clem: "May I have TWO of your business cards?"

[luffy316]

Greg: "They'll put you in the penalty box for killing someone... which is just prison, now that I think about it."

Worthington: "I know a Harvard boy when I see one."
Gabe: "Go Crimson."
Worthington: "I think I am." *wipes a bloody nose

Announcer: "HE! COULD! GO! ALL! THE! WAYYYY!"
Greg: "Nope. He's dead. Nevermind."
James: "He did NOT go all the way."

Mina: "A little rotgut would actually help your breath."
Big Papa: "It would help with your looks!"

Announcer: "He's completely mute so we don't know his exact name! We're told he hates the one we gave him!"

Josh: "That's Shcrampum's other nickname."
Ax: "The King of Clubs?"

[luffy316]

James: "Pick your favorite low blow."

James: "You take 0 Wind. What miracle does this?"
Susan: "Scandinavian spin-dancing?"

[luffy316]

Travis: "Cuz kids is stupid! Me especially! I was stupid even as an adult!"

[luffy316]

Josh: "By 'be a man' I mean 'make a poor decision."

[luffy316]

Josh: "Is it Disintegrate?"
Max: "Its not Disintegrate."
Josh: "It's just Disinte-Okay?"

[luffy316]

Ax: "Yea! More like Dad Lands! Jesus!"
Greg: "I'd play that rpg."
James: "Who wants to play DadLands? Bonus AC for socks and sandals."
Kevin: "Wait is this like Dream Daddy simulator?"
Susan: "Can I buy a Harley for my midlife crisis?"
Greg: "I AM Husky..."
Kevin: "Its Dream Daddy but everyone's wearing leather with guns and stuff."
James: "No! No leather daddies!"

[luffy316]

Kevin: "The only thing of note i see is a knife and a spoon in the hat picture."
Greg: "I see you're played Knifey Spoony before!"

[luffy316]

James: "I will NOT let you game magic, even though that is exactly what brings huckster is."

Josh: "Clem knows what this is... it's a beef selkie."
Greg: "They wear cow skins and turn into your wife or something."
Josh: "Exactly. Word for word. Wear cow skins and turn into your wife."
Ax: "And if you steal their leather jacket they'll marry you."

Greg: "You'll have to get past a couple of Eds to get to em."
Ax: "The Agemcy has Eds of its own..."