Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Faustus: "Its going to be a long night if you're talking to everyone who's crazy."

[luffy316]

James: "Now excuse me while I fondle this sock full of chips!"

Josh: "Clem thinks it's a plague selkie."

James: "My Occult Academia?"
Kevin: "There is no magic in mad science. This is bullshit."
Greg: "I get it, James. I appreciate it."
James: "Anyone? Anyone? Ughhh I'm dyin' up here."
Josh: "I think you mean Ocolto Academia."
Ax: "You people are nerds."
Susan: "Yes?!"
Josh: "We're playing an rpg..."
Greg: "Were throwing dice to see how much we know about zombies. What do you want?"
James: "We're pretending to be old west sorcerers!"

[luffy316]

Kevin: "Don't touch ANY of it! Only what you need to pick it up."
James: "Carry this but don't touch it!"
Greg: "Like a man holding a baby who doesn't know how.He just holds it straight out in front of him."
James: "Yea, I've been there. People have taken babies away from me after giving them to me. It's like 'You don't know how to hold a child' No, I don't!"
Greg: "I do, somehow. That's weird. Never thought about it before."
Josh: "That's because you're a baby thief, Greg."
Greg: "Been baby stealin' all my life, ever since I was a baby!"
Ax: "I stole myself!"

[luffy316]

Mina: "Oh, he's exaggerating. Clearly the man was sick, but let's not say..."
Missy: "Let him have his fancies."
Guillaume: "He had poison blood he shot us with, and when my friend was going down, I ran into action..."
Mina: "Now, now, diseases are communicable, and if he had his arrows then it's perfectly reasonable for him to use it on us... unfortunately..."
Guillaume: "And I tore a dying man from his clutches and brought him to a doctor, saving his life."
Mina, muttering: "I mean, that happened, yea..."

[luffy316]

Susan: "Mobility is important."
Greg: "Not when the worm comes to you and just grabs onto you. He just saved me a move action..."

James: "It lets go of Guillaume, who is left hanging out of the train going 20 miles an hour by his legs. It feels pretty bad with all that broken glass you're putting your weight on."
Greg: "AH! My favorite legs! I was using thoooose!"

[luffy316]

James: "Are you trying to go high or low here?"
Travis: "Why not both!?"
Susan: "Porque no las dos!?"
James: "You can't. You can't do both. That's why not los dos."

Raven: "Not a bird."
Alyria: "Not a bird."
Raven: "I'm a bird."

[luffy316]

Charlie: "It's either Baby vs Angelica, or Baby vs Environment."
Matt: "Yea, those are the main dramatic stories."

[luffy316]

Matt: "Maybe this is why Disney is becoming this super conglomerate: so we can get Muppet Babies on DVD."

James: "The sheriff opens his mouth and-"
Kevin the newly appointed Sheriff: "No he doesn't."

Clem: "A revenant! That's when you've got a tree on a motorcycle."

Josh: "I botched my Occult roll... so let me tell you about revenants!"

Josh: "Is the Organization public knowledge, or does Clem think they're all selkies?"

Josh: "The Doc Holiday Inn..."

[luffy316]

Ax: "Mina is just waiting outside assuming Gabe is eating as intended and wondering what deity she could have possibly offended to end up in these particular circumstances."
James: "That's fair."
Kevin: "I'm just a simple, innocent devil trafficker."

James: "He gives you all a big grin and gestures nods at the food house. Where the food lives..."

Josh, in a Zone of Truth: "She starts to say 'I trust your judge of character, but then stops..."

Clem: "I read a book once."
Guillaume: "Just the one."
Clem: "Yep."
Guillaume: "More zan me!"
Clem: "It was called A History of Selkies In The Old World."

[luffy316]

Greg:"Wait! The heart is the gizzard?!"
James: "That's one of the gizzards."

[luffy316]

James: "You can actually hear a hoarse whisper.. h-o-a-r..."
Josh: "Neighhhh!"

[luffy316]

James: "Give 'me the kicks! Bite his gun!"

[luffy316]

Greg: "Effectively a -3..."
James: "Okay that is not going to hit."
Greg: "Dangit."
Kevin: "A negative three misses!?"
Greg: "Ugh... James. Am I right, people?
James: "What the FUCK did I do!?"
Ax: "James is in the back end of Roll20..."
James: "Just rootin' around like a gremlin. 'Heh heh! He'll never hit me!' Meanwhile Kevin's getting 31s on a d8."
Kevin: "That was a good one. The worst part was it almost exploded a fourth time."
James: "Hey ho fiddle deedee! You'll never roll a crit against me!"
Greg: "Oh, I can't wait two years til I get to quote that one... but anyway, I miss."
James: "You sure do. Fucker."

[luffy316]

James: "Mina, you have a visitor."
Kevin: "Nice to meet you. I'm Mr. The Ghost. Four score and seven years ago..."
James: "God dammit, stop that!"
Ax: "Four score and seven seconds ago, you took a bunch of bullets to the face."
Greg: "Join the club, kid!"

[luffy316]

Gabe: "We talking 'killed my dog' angry, or 'slept with my wife' angry?"
Former Sheriff: "More like 'slept with my dog and killed my wife angry."
Gabe: "Now that's just unkind."