Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Josh: "Hey, internet! Are you tired of vague references to Gustador Buffett, the schmorgislord?"
James: "I heard he conquered Magaritavile."

[luffy316]

Josh: "I'm not trying to raise a stink. I just want to wrestle this man for his soup."

Josh: "Shit! I forgot to murder him! I mean, stop by and say hello."

Ax: "That was the fancy plum wine that gets cut open by a duelist and you give the plum to the guest of honor."
Travis: "I'M a duelist!"
James: "YES, thank you, Travis! We have a duelist! That's not the hard part!"

James: "Bring me a hot dessert! You there! Shugenja! Heat my ice cream! Boil it!"
Ax: "If you wanted ice cream soup, we could have served you that, you asshole!"
Max: "If my ice cream isn't deep fried within the hour I'm going to be very disappointed! Seppuku for everyone! You get a seppuku and you get a seppuku!"
James: "Get a Unicorn in here. We need the gaijin art of deep frying!"

Ax: "He comes riding in on a Unicorn horse..."
James: "WHERE DID HE GET A UNICORN!?"
Josh: "No, he means a horse from the Unicorn clan. Besides, they'd be a kirin here if anything..."
Ax: "Yea."
James: "Oh. I just heard unicorn and got really excited for a minute there."

[luffy316]

Kevin: "If you're you're not eating, sleeping, pooping, and having sex all at the same time, you're not living life to the fullest."

Ax: "Only if you agree to take in her 12 year old granddaughter who's an orphan."
James: "Oh..."
Josh: "Shit, I could have another servant!"
Max: "Oh wait! I want a servant!"
Josh: "No."
Susan: "No, I need to help this child face the kami in a blessed way."
James: "Am I the only one who doesn't want this kid!?"
Travis: "I want this kid just to teach her the ways of the Crab."
Josh: "No one... everyone disregards a kid until they bump into you and they feel a pokey pain. Then they're like 'Oh that kid must have been spiney' and then they just die!"

[luffy316]

Max : "All that he got was some clues that somewhat lead him to a pile of dust that he was told "You put this in your stank sock. Good job, kid. We gotta go bring back Optimus now."

Kevin: "Don't question our dark god!"
James: "He just comes to us in a dream; 'No fatties in Hell!"


Matt: "I will watch [Transformers] 5 as many times as I need to make sure all my friends see it. I don't want to watch 5 but I do want to watch my friends watch 5."


Matt: "Let me go back to... also I like that I can find the things I wrote about this just by looking up the word 'buttfucked."

James: "You got shot in the foot! Why are you coughing up blood!?"
Alex: "It's from all the Stim!"

Max: "I'd take cover but people who take cover can't punch FACES!"

Josh: "You know my thoughts about cool swords: they are all legally mine."

Kevin: "I imagine us playing the penis game with the password, just having to shout it louder and louder over the course of the battle."
Josh: "Only in this case, the password is still 'penis."
James: "And we try to fit it into casual conversation so he doesn't notice."

James: "I'm more of a front stabber than a back stabber. I stab whatever's available."

Ax: "He's going to wind up and try to bash you with his gun."
James: "Secret technique!!"

Kevin: "Victor comes back riding on one of the skeletal cats with a loaf of bread."
Susan: "Oh my god, that's the cutest-"
James: "No it's not! It's gross!"

Alyria: "It went PEW! Right into the body."
Conrad: "I see..."
Alyria: "PEW!"
Conrad: "I... got it the first time."

Ax: "There are dozens of orcs from the sound. You hit the floor as one gigantic green gestalt looks at you as the elevator brakes squeal to a halt."
James: "Vorgen reloads."


Josh: "This lady's coming in here acting like she knows better than we do, flipping out because we're surrounded by vampires, but we are ALWAYS surrounded by vampires! And I wanted to say that like one of those Twitter posts where there's a clap between every word."

Conrad: "Ah hell..."
Susan: "I don't get it."
Conrad: "Literal Hell!"


Max: "Hell yea! She walks away giving finger guns at everyone. I mean, finger bows."

James: "Not a reference. Just a fuckboi."

James: "Bring me a bride who can break me in half!"
Max: "Bring me a woman who can chop a shark in half with her arm!"


Kevin: "I loathe hearing others.' Man, I've never felt more connected to a character!"


Charlie: "Again, I wish I had an on-hand slide whistle."


James: "Conrad's Cowboy Crew! Spell them all with K's. Oh wait..."

Ax: "This just furthers my theory that Travis is just being poorly translated."
Travis: "I LIKE this theory!"

Janes: "Faustus, we need to find you some bear corpses to resurrect. Make some Beren-stein bears."

Charlie: "It's fucked up that Indiana Jone never had to fight a skeleton."
Matt: "Huh. Yea."
Max: "Well he did, but they happened to be inside of people at the time."

Matt: "SHATTER that pelvis!"

[luffy316]

Kevin: "Let's face it. Our mission statement is to support James' ability to be quoted."
James: "What?"
Josh: "This is the reason we don't have Greg in games..."
Travis: "That's why we need him in our games! Then he won't quote anymore!"
Max: "No... he still will. It'll just be parts that don't include him."
James: "Our forums will just DIE."
Travis: "We have a forum?"

[luffy316]

Josh: "Basically just trying to get her to the inn... does she seem like she trusts Aleria at all, or does it seem like it's not quite there yet?"
Susan: "I don't know! DO you!?"

[luffy316]

James: "I know where I can find a primitive emotion! Five minutes later, 'I AM TRAIN!"

[luffy316]

Matt: "Until next time..."
Matt and Travis: "We know things!"
Travis: "We did it!"
*Matt and Travis accapella Sandstorm

[luffy316]

Charlie: "I would have been hot in the70s. With my magnificent mane."
Matt: "And your dream catcher over your bed."

Matt: "I've said that none of us can be sane because our favorite pastime is pretending we're orphaned children."

Matt: "I wrote a game in two sentences: 'There's a fancy dinner party. A racist robot ruins it."

James: "I still remember with Zach's game, he said 'James, I'm offering you the chance to be the one and only magical boy."
Sam: "That sounds horrible."
James: "I know!!"

[luffy316]

Josh: "If wishes were horses, your wish would be dead."

[luffy316]

James: "Speaking of charicatures: Guillaume!"

Kevin: "Man, I know that fat, strong feeling..."

Kevin: "You probably don't have to mention the smell. We've all got smells. It's the 1800s."

[luffy316]

Guillaume: "Where I come from in Zoe frozen north, it was cold, it was boring, but it was nice. But Guillaume, he needs the taste of adventure. He needs to come into zis land. I hear you have all manner of... monsters, ghosts, all manner of wonderful things to fight."
McShane: "Boy, I think I caught about for fifths of it and I respect two thirds of it."
Guillaume: "That will do. Also how do you play poker?"
McShane: "Boy, you're gonna be a lot of fun to play with."
Clem: "Apparently you play it by losin' money."
Mina: "That's not true at all."

[luffy316]

James: "It's when you roll more 1's than any other number."
Kevin: "And unlike last time, I get to Bust without the worst possible thing happening."
Greg: "Is that your Luck of the Irish thing?"
Kevin: "No, that was last game I had. LOTS of heart attacks."
Greg: "Whhhhat?!"
Kevin: "I kept Busting on fear checks, so I got the worst possible result!"

[luffy316]

James: "Hold out your hat so you can catch my pride."
Kevin: "Will it for in a saucer?"
James: "Yes."

Gabe : "Haven't you got a sheriff around who can keep them under control?"
McShane: "They did. Til Tuesday."
Gabe: "Okay... any deputies, I guess?"
McShane: "Thursday."
Mina: "So the lawmen in this town are being systematically decapitated?"
McShane: "Well they keep going out to investigate."
Gabe: "Any posses?"
McShane: "Friday."
Greg: "I just want there to be one more step to this lineage..."
Gabe: "Lone gunmen with nothin to lose?"
McShane: "Sunday. That was the end of Solomon Grundy."
*laughter
Greg: "It was the same person!? First he was sheriff, but got demoted for dying. Solid grounds, I'll admit."
Kevin: "File that under battlefield demotion."
McShane: "The point is, they've been killin' a lot of people. We just need someone to watch em do it."
Gabe: "Seems to me you need undertakers more than you need us."
McShane: "Saturday."
Josh: "Wait..."
Gabe: "That's just unkind."

[luffy316]

Max: "I forgot about my horrible ass. It's like weaponized disappointment."

Kevin: "Gabe doesn't move, but he starts circling the cigar in his mouth."
James: "For a minute there, I thought you were turning it around so that the lit part was in your mouth. Just chewing it up like Bluto."