Drunken Quotes thread

[crazon]

Conrad: Do you know how heavy my armour is?
Nick: The answer is too heavy.
Conrad: Exactly, now let me eat my damn bacon.
Nick: The pancakes are delicious.
Conrad: Wait, wait, hold on, hold.
James: He puts his hands out to the people on either side of him.
Axe: Are you seriously going to have him do his lay-on-hands, before the morning ticks over.
Max: No, he's saying grace.
James: Bring it in.
Axe: Bring it in?
(Laughter across the board)
James:Uh, Conrad used to be a youth minister.

[luffy316]

Charlie: "I mean when you get down to it, is lasagna a pizza?"
Max: "No. But is it a sandwich?"
Matt: "I mean, when you get down to it, it's many, many sandwiches."

[luffy316]

Kevin: "I can finally use a gun in one hand and a chain sword in the other hand."
Josh: "And lie with your tongue."
Kevin: "I lie for the emperor."

[luffy316]

Alex: "Of this plan actually works, I'LL be the one with a quick release!"

[luffy316]

Matt: "You mentioned that Paul Bearer really likes ice cream, and I like that there's an entire chapter dedicated to him liking ice cream."

[luffy316]

Nick: "Yea, they tend to keep me away from nunneries."
Conrad: "Oh don't be a braggart, Nick."
Grumhild: "I only meant... abbeys.... are not generally coed."
Nick: "No, I was once made painfully clear in that distinction."
Josh: "I kill Nick with a sworrrrrd."

[luffy316]

Ax: "Are you guys reporting the recaf you received?"
Kevin: "I don't see why we should."
Ax: "And what about the Cyclops?"
Josh: "It is now our new robot friend who serves us our coffee."

Josh: "The shrugging helps."
James: "You could shrug and crack a walnut between your shoulder blades."

[luffy316]

Max: "Werewolf cop! Turn in your badge and moon!"

James: "So what do you think the Oracle's attack looks like?"
Max: "It's either a psychic blast or getting real mad and punching 'em."
James: "What I like to imagine is since your whole thing is psychic sense, rather than just damage you're doing the Sherlock Holmes thing of 'I see your every move."
James: "Maybe I jsut already set a bomb there."
Max: "As SOON as he turns the corner, you're already punching."

[luffy316]

Matt: "It's a fine pee."
Max: "Top notch."
Matt: "It's an excellent vintage."

[luffy316]

James: "How does it feel to know your NPC is better than you?"

Alex: "I realized Cornelius doesn't have Logic. That makes so much sense."

[luffy316]

Kevin: "He pulls out the Stefan Maurer doll, locks eyes with him, and whenever he opens his mouth, he makes it move its mouth."
Maurer: "So-"
Kevin: "Clack clack."

[luffy316]

Ax: "It's why he's selling you precious things like his telescope."
James: "I don't want to see any more of this world anyway."

Alex: "I like it! If it pisses somebody off, I like it."

Ax: "What's his name... Lion El'Jonson did it..."
James: "That is not a fucking chapter master!"
Kevin: "Oh yes he is..."
James: "Lionel Johnson!?"
Max: "Known for his smooth hits and signature Afro."
Ax: "Lion... then E L apostrophe Johnson."
James: "That's even more confusing and I accept it less!"

Ax: "You wish it was an 80 foot gun. It would be a Rightful Stewardship Day miracle if it was."

[luffy316]

Odette: "You got me a knife..."
Bastion: "Yea..."
Odette: "It's EXACTLY what I wanted him!"
*hugs Bastion and it's really awkward
Bastion: "Yea... yea..."
Kevin: "Is the knife still in her hand?"
James: "Yea!"

Ax: "Let's see who got the rock. Oh..."
Josh: "Was it Dominique?"
James: "Dominique."
Ax: "Why did Dominique get the rock?"
Josh: "Because Cornelius bought Sleight of Hand or something."
James: "She's the fucking Charlie Brown of our group!"

[luffy316]

Matt: "You could say that aircraft is more than meets the eye."
Max: "Usomg a bit of deception if you will."
Matt: "Its some kind of automatic robot..."
Max: "No, it's more of a deception. You know, using cons."
Matt: "Its a deceiver, this robot."

[luffy316]

Matt: "I've learned that with Michael Bay, it's like giving a 13 year old 500 million dollars."

Matt: "I think Devastator is a front hoe... no, sorry. He's a mining excavator."
Max: "But if you pay more, he'll be a back ho."