Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Travis: "Can that fit in our trunk, because it looks like it's worth a lot of money."
James: "It cannot fit in your trunk."
Max: "I'm sorry, we have too much junk in it."
Travis: "Yeeaaaaaa!"

[luffy316]

Charlie: "I'm putting you on the spot. Which Overwatch character would you make the love to?"
Matt: "I dunno, Mercy. She seems like a gentle lover and also a cyborg angel."
Charlie: "You know, I'd go to the opposite side of the spectrum and say Pharah."
Matt: "That the big russian lady?"
Charlie: "No, that's Mercy's girlfriend."
Matt: "Ahh, okay."
Charlie: "Ana's daughter... Egyptian Samus."
Matt: "Right! I remember that..."
Charlie: "She's also my main, so it's part of my brand. I think when you main someone, you have to put them up on the 'would fuck' scale."


Charlie: "I mean, how old is Bastion? Is he legal?"
Matt: "Do you wanna fuck the robot?"
Charlie: "Buddy, they won't even let ME fuck the robot."
Matt: "What tweet was that again?"
Charlie: "The guy from the Betsy Ross museum."
Matt: "Oh yea... that line also sums up a lot of the Five Nights At Freddies fandom."

[luffy316]

Charlie: "When are we going to release the album of every time I broke in to quote unquote song on recording?"

[luffy316]

Charlie: "Is Mudsport a thing? Or is that just scat in general?"
Matt: "Yea, I mean... it might be?"
Charlie: "Because watersports is peepee. Peepee fun times."
Matt, bursting into laughter: "God! Somehow that's an even more uncomfortable way to say that. I don't know why people watch this stream!"

[Capman]

"I don't know why people watch this stream" becomes a more regular occurence the more streams we do

[luffy316]

Matt: "Dear Captain Berek, I always hated you.' Then the rest of the letter is just Deckland spitting on the page."
James: "He just puts it in the pile with the rest."


Ax: "Well since I got put on brute squad duty.
James: "You put yourself on brute squad duty."
Ax: "I love brute squad duty."
Charlie: "While you're just over there River City Ransoming people..."

[luffy316]

Max: "There's something magical about hearing everyone laugh so hard at something when you have no idea what they're talking about."

Max: "Deande will take some pictures. Mostly for herself."
James: "You do, and for some reason, they look different every time you look at them."
Max: "Probably because I don't look at them like most people do."
James: "Just hang them on your wall. 'I can always look at these pictures with fond memories.... I wish I could fucking see."

[crazon]

Kevin: Let's not kill me because of ONE word presented.

Kevin: That's why they don't let ghosts testify in court, THEY ARE LIARS!

[luffy316]

James: "Soooo about halfway through your journey, you see the mouth again. It's on you this time, just laughing at you from the center of your thigh, and your knife is soooo very very close. You take 12 damage."
Ax: "I'm at 0."
Kevin: "It's fine, just don't take 8 more."
James: "And how did you do, Mord? How many degrees of failure?"
Travis: "Six degrees!"
Kevin: "You see a mouth on your thigh. The furnace pistol is in your hand."
James: "Roll me a Willpower test."
Travis: "I've never made a willpower test this whole fucking game... wait! Yes! I did it!"
James: "About halfway through the journey you're hit with this gloom and despair, and similar to the compulsion the captain was feeling, except you realize that the airlock is soooo very close. There's a silence, then you look back at your work and you're like 'nah' and go back to work. You rolled like 150, but because you made that one roll, nothing happened."

[luffy316]

"Make it quick, Ramirez. I've got three more gloats before my third dinner."


James: "Your thigh says 'You know they're just messing with you, right?"



Josh: "Real quick: we need a better word for 'train."
James: "I was trying to think of one."
Ax: "A locomatarium."
James: "Yes, a locomatarium."
Ax: "All hail Saint Thomas."



James: "He enters some numbers into a datapad as you respond."
Josh: "You are... a Vaporeon. Because it's just one of those personality tests about what Pokemon you are."
James: "It's ironic that you say that, because you're very close to the planet Vaporeus."
Ax: "It says I'm in Ravenclaw! What the fuck!?"
James: "Hufflepuff for life!"
Max: "What the fuck's a Pukwudgie!? This is bullshit!"

Max: "I will choke the lungs into you, Dufrain!"

James: "Boarders! What is your profession?! 'Boarders?"
Kevin: "We are here to board ships and chew bubblegum! And we're not bringing any bubblegum."
Max: "But their hull was full of bubblegum! We weren't prepared for this!"
Travis: "We'll board their ship, kill all the crew, and then take their bubblegum, thus completing our mission!"
Max: "I have some bubblegum, sir."
Travis: "Then get the FUCK out!"
James: "Did you bring enough for everyone?"
Kevin: "Spit it out. ...I'm waiting."

[luffy316]

Max: "It's just a bunch of people in hallways throwing things going 'Fucking wind! Fight me!"
Matt: "Pretty much. If you watch an episode, it's people yelling at nothing."
Max: "Sounds like our president. God bless America."

[luffy316]

Susan: "Whenever there's a bug or something I don't like, you usually tell me how it's important to nature so I don't hate it so much."
Ax: "Max: nature's apologist."

James: "Then that creates the DDT problem with mosquitoes."
Josh: "Well sure. You can't DDT a mosquito because they're so small."
James: "God dammit! I'm talking insecticides and he's talking wrestling moves."

Travis: "I'm just saying we could do a bitchin' version of Gnomeo and Juliet with this."
James: "Shut up!"
Matt: "Isn't that about garden gnomes?"
James: "Yes! Shut up!"

[QueenAelin]

Max legitimately makes me accept bugs like marginally more in life. It's good for nature and me.

[Capman]

James: "Then that creates the DDT problem with mosquitoes."
Josh: "Well sure. You can't DDT a mosquito because they're so small."
James: "God dammit! I'm talking insecticides and he's talking wrestling moves."

Also the thing about mosquitos now is breeding males which have a genetic defect that cause all the larvae to die and usually cuts mosquito populations by 95% with no observed consequences.

[Sabwones]

Which just goes to show that mosquitoes are nature's assholes. They serve no purpose other than to make other creatures suffer.