Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Charlie: "I will fucking end you over Ape Escape lore!"

Max: "This is how wrenches work. You can go into your toolbox and get a wrench right now. Audience, if you want to do that, pause the video. Take your time right now, go collect your wrench. Find your local clown and give him a wallop over the head."
Charlie: "Well it has to be to the death."
Max: "Yea. Yea. Audience, you can do this, pause this right now. Then you will find that you can no longer wrench things with it anymore"
Charlie: "Also, we're not lawyers or anything. So we can't get in trouble for... for clown poaching."

[luffy316]

Max: "I didn't know Sonic had joined the assassin's guild. What will that spikey man think of next? He is movin' quite fast, pickin' up all that jewelry. What a good blue man!"

Charlie: "What if our mom fell into a clown factory?"

[luffy316]

James: "All of his internal blood bags were merging into one blood bag."
Alex: "What?"
James: "He's melting!"

Josh: "Now I can continue my course from knight to noir detective. I greet her as a dame, because she is of the same noble ranking as myself."
James: "She had legs that went on for DECADES AND DECADES!"
Josh: "She had a fiefdom that just wouldn't quit... because they would be severely punished if they did."


Alex: "Can we see if he had access to the landing bay, or whatever they'd call it in this world?"
Kevin: "The Landinarium."
Alex: "I... can't tell if you're joking.
Kevin: "Not this time."

Kevin: "Alex, you should start carrying a fire extinguisher with you too. 'Wait, we need that one alive.' Pshhhhhh!"
James: "FOAM THE HERETIC!"

[luffy316]

Charlie: "Well it needs a skull. If you're a legit pirate, you need to enter the skeleton war."
James: "One flag is a scotty dog with a dagger in its mouth."
"We could give it like a rose and a crown."
Matt: "Or a spooky ghost. Just put a sheet ghost over the flag. In fact, we just cut out our flag to be in the shape of a ghost. It looks like a whacky inflatable arm-flailing tube man, like the ones in front of used car lots."
James: "I've decided you are no longer to be trusted with the decision over your own flag."
Matt: "Kevin hasn't said anything yet. We're just bullshitting."
Kevin: "Those all sound like good ideas. I just haven't decided yet."
James: "I've decided you are no longer to be trusted with the decision over your own flag."



James: "You don't see any pirate flags, but you do see a large amount of ships flying neutral colors, all of which are loaded with variable amounts of guns."
Charlie: "It's a veritable Whacky Races of ships."

Matt: "That was my favorite Scooby Doo parody; Sorpy Dorp."
Charlie: "Yea... but who was Sorpy Dorp?"
Matt: "He was their talking... alien."
Charlie: "Yea, instead of a talking dog."
Ax: "Or a talking shark. Or caveman."
Charlie: "Or a ghost!"
Ax: "Pff! Yea..."
James: "My favorite character was Vanessa. 'Jankles!"

James: "That wasn't even the only time they had Batman on. I know they had an episode where they had Batman AND the Harlem Globetrotters."
Charlie: "AWWW MAN!"

[luffy316]

Max: "If this LP is going to be nothing but Animorphs and Shreks then I'm leaving right now."

[luffy316]

Matt: "I'd herd that Mortal Kombat was supposed to be a game based on Bloodsport."
Charlie: "Kind of like how Donkey Kong was supposed to be a Popeye game?"
Matt: "Yea... imagine what kind of world that would have been."
Charlie: "It would have been a one-off."
Matt: "Or would we just have Popeye Galaxy?
Charlie, laughing: "...what a world we would have lived in."

[Sabwones]

James: 'She had a fiefdom that would not quit, for they would be punished severely if they did.'

[luffy316]

Charlie: "I'm not saying no rules, just right..."
Matt: "That's Outback Steakhouse."
Charlie: "Right. It's not that all wrestling matches take place in an Outback Steakhouse. It's just that each ring is temporarily legally declared an honorary Outback Steakhouse. You can kill a man at an Outback Steakhouse."
Matt: "Yea, because it's no rules. Just right."
Charlie: "Because Outback Steakhouse is a subset... sovereign part of Australia, but it's also a part of Australia that's already geared up for Mad Max."

[luffy316]

Matt: "I guess my takeaway from this is be Road Trip, don't be a Ponyfinder."

[Capman]

Matt: "I guess my takeaway from this is be Road Trip, don't be a Ponyfinder."

That's advice to take to the fuckin bank man

[luffy316]

Hanna: "It's called Yuri On Ice, which you'd think is like 'lesbians on ice! hell yea!"

[luffy316]

Kevin: "I like the idea of all the  mirrors breaking."
James: "That's enough to cover like a house, maybe a second floor."
Ax: "And no one knows why, so they're just pissed."
James: "I hate this dark future!"
Kevin: "My mirror just broke, and yesterday the kettle yelled at me."

Sam: "This is the work of our true enemy."
James: "Which true enemy is this? There are so many I guest confused."
Sam: "YES!"

James: "These are our pyrotechnics experts, Shades and Ten Fingers. They're nicknames are ironic."

[luffy316]

Ross: "He bit an ASTRONAUT! That's like shooting a unicorn!"

[luffy316]

Matt: "I like that the mech was being piloted by a balloon man."
Max: "Of course. Who better than a balloon to be drift compatible?"
Matt: "God dammit!"
Charlie: "It's not a drift, though, it's only one person."
Max: "How do you know the robot's not sentient!? Don't be sexist, Charlie!"

[luffy316]

Charlie: "Who wins in a fight? Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman, or the Lion?"
Max: "Am I supposed to answer this, because it sounds pretty easy."
Charlie: "Yea, go ahead."
Matt: "Probably the Woodsman."
Max: "Yea, the Tin Woodsman for days."
Charlie: "Okay. Now also bear in mind... The Scarecrow has a gun."

Matt: "What about post-Wizard giving them their shit?"
Max: "Prooobably still the Woodsman."
Charlie: "I'm still favoring the Tin Woodsman, but the odds aren't so bad for the Scarecrow. Because now he can possibly get lucky and shoot the Woodsman in the heart."
Matt: "That just makes it harder for the Scarecrow, because if he does that, it means the Tin Woodsman will have no emotions."
Charlie: "But if he can hit the part that has the alchemical symbol that holds the Tin Man's soul..."