Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

James: "Fists' are the same as 'nothing' unless you have no hands!"


*Party Goer shoots a man scaling the walls* "Got one!"
Francesca: "What did THAT accomplish!?"
Party Goer: "That's less competition for later!"
Ax: "In the state we're in already!?"
Nadire: "What difference does it make now!?"
Party Goer: "Look, I won't be the first one to die here! Er, rather, the third or fourth to die."
Nadire: "Well what difference does it make what order you die in if you're going to die anyway!?"
Kevin: "I like him..."

[luffy316]

Max: "I'll probably ask other people later, but what three characters am I?"
Charlie: "Well you're Maximillion from this game..."
Max: "Yea, I'm okay with that."
Charlie: "You're a spunky boy."
Matt: "Mighty Max..."
Max: "No! They're not just all Maxes! I hate you!
Charlie: "Maximilion Pegasus."
Max: "Actually I'm okay with that."
Charlie: "I can see you owning an island and challenging people to card games."
Max: "If I had magic powers and money, that's what I would do."
Charlie: "Living on an island playing Duel Monsters and Magic the Gathering, watching cartoons and collecting Egyptian artifacts."
Max: "I am so mad at how much this is me!"

[luffy316]

James: "Do you know how many sphincters you have?"
Sam: "...yes!"
James: "It's more than you think."
Kevin: "And less than you would hope."
Sam: "...I'm just going to roll Sanity here..."

James: "Well guys... I guess this really HAS been... a Dark Heresy. And the camera pans up into the sky over us."
Alex: "Produced by J.J Abrams..."
Sam: "Lens flare! Lens flare!"

[luffy316]

James: "I'm finding myself disappointed in things that people are disappointed in."
Kevin: "There is no end to that..."

[luffy316]

James: "You see him whisper a prayer and his sword begins to glow."
Matt: "I say a prayer and then shoot him with my gun."
Charlie: "The only way that could have been better was is you pulled the gun out of a bible."

[luffy316]

James: "I gained 'Purse. You may expel all toxins from your body. 15 Skill Points."
Charlie: "UGHHHHH! This is our grossest adventure!"

[luffy316]

James: "You can give the greatest gift of all. You can grant the ability 'Retard."
Charlie: "WHAAAAT!?"
James: "When you use this power, the person no longer receives Radiations table for any reason."
Charlie: "Ohhhh, that meaning of the word 'retard."

Matt: "Whenever you gain 10 Skill Points, roll on the radiation table. If you survive for 5 days, roll again."
Charlie: "But I get 12 radiations every week!"
James: "It's like a punch card at subway!"

James: "I'm about to go nuts and you can't stop me!"

Susan: "I'm interesting person to say the least."
Charlie: "That's the last sentence of the first paragraph of your young adult novel."

James: "The next player you come in contact with, compare your stats. You get the higher stats of the two."
Max: "Brother! You got all the strong genes!"
Charlie: "You get to pick who gets to be the Danny Devito to your Arnold Schwarzenegger."

[luffy316]

Charlie: "You're basically just Master Roshi now."
James: "Charlie... is a lot closer than you'd think. He's an elderly sex addict turtle man."
Charlie: "It's like we're playing ********."
Matt: "WE SHALL NOT SPEAK ITS NAME!"

[luffy316]

Matt: "You could shorten it to just 'Mr Roboto."
Charlie: "I don't think you understand how Stands work."

[Capman]

I think I was proposing to shorten it to Kilroy.  Kilroy.  Kilroy.


Kilroy.

[luffy316]

*Max finds a bastard sword
Max: "That sword was born out of swordlock!"


James: "The GM will name the substance. Whenever you consume this substance, you gain 1d6 Strength for 6d6 minutes."
Kevin: "Make it spinach..."

[luffy316]

Charlie: "Do you think that was the inspiration for Rugrats? What if we did Baby's Day Out, but as a series?"

[luffy316]

Sam: "If you're doing a game about vampires in space, make sure the rules are about vampires in space and not 19th Century crossbow combat."
Matt: "They can't shoot guns in space! They need crossbows!"
Sam: "Actually, now I want to play this game..."
Matt: "Look forward to Vampires In Space, 2018."

[luffy316]

Kevin: "It's easier to hack yourself to be Bad than all of them to be Good."
James: "But Kevin, think of the moral implications."
Kevin: "Nah."

[luffy316]

Charlie: "Is catfishing esports?"
Max: "I would watch the pro leagues of catfishing."
Matt: "You know, I would too."
Max, in a hushed voice: "Oh, oh and yes, yes he has a milf on the line let's see if he can keep it in."
Charlie in a hushed voice: "This is 140 pounder. This would be very nice catch."
Max: "Oh, oh and there are the nudes. Wonderful. Wonderful."
Charlie: "That looks like 84 inches... 70 inches.... 75 inches. Noce proportions."
Max: "Now it looks like two of our competitors have gotten their lines tangled up and now how nuvdes of each other. this has some somewhere fast."