Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Conrad: "Oh, I'm sorry. You're already in a conversation with your creamy-skinned robot baby."

Max: "You actually only find three of your cakes."
James: "You later find a pasty doll passed the fuck out."

[luffy316]

Question "On Scooby Doo, Where Are You?, what is Shaggy's first name?"
Answer: "Norville."
Max: "What!? Why?
Matt: "That name that people have."
Max: "That very real name that humans have and not hellspawn."
James: "Charlie roll the dice! Before he gets madder!"

James, on Martin Luther: "Here's 95 reasons why fuck the church."

James: "I forgot what queen's virginity Virginia was named after. 'Let it be known that our queen has both her virginity and her west virginity!"

[luffy316]

James: "They drink champagne and it tastes just like Coca Cola..."
Matt: "It's cherry Cola. That's just what Zap Branigan says because he doesn't know the words."
James: "DAMMIT! I Braniganed myself!"

[luffy316]

Max: "Merchant holding a teapot? Excuse me, I think you mean our blood-servant."

[luffy316]

James: "It's kind of like the Aurora Borealis... except that it's made entirely of ghosts."

[luffy316]

Travis: "You're just a talking Hawaiian shirt. You don't have a voice so you don't get the right to talk."

James: "So... how do you find an orc?"
Axe: "I could go to random parts of the city and just yell out 'Who wants a fight?"
Travis: "I dooooo!"

Max: "He is deaf and blind, and loses his sense of taste and smell but not touch. He can still feel."
Warboss: "What?! Where's my taaaste!?"
Max: "Of course that's the one he misses..."


Warboss: "I gotcha that time! I felt some nose on that one!"
Herzog: "Heh... I've been broke before."
Deaf Warboss: "...what?!"
Travis: "You made me spittake, you fucker!"

James: "He starts patting his knife into his hand as if it were a club, but each time creates splashes of green blood."
Kevin: "I thought orks had red blood."
James: "Do they?"
Kevin: "Yea. Red blood. Explicity, because it looks cooler on green."
Axe: "Though with their line of thinking, if one gets beat the fuck up, it can run away from a fight faster."
James: "You're half-right, Axe."
Max: "It would go running INTO the fight faster. You're right."
Axe: "If we had a fucking xenobiologist on our crew, he'd be compelled by this train of thought."

[luffy316]

Matt: "By the end of it, he's this mustache twirling, Snidely Whiplash kind of evil, except a few degrees more evil and if Snidely Whiplash committed a few sexual assaults. I don't want to compare him too closely to Snidely Whiplash, because he is a purer, more innocent evil."

[Kevin]

James: "He starts patting his knife into his hand as if it were a club, but each time creates splashes of green blood."
Kevin: "I thought orks had red blood."
James: "Do they?"
Kevin: "Yea. Red blood. Explicity, because it looks cooler on green."
Axe: "Though with their line of thinking, if one gets beat the fuck up, it can run away from a fight faster."
James: "You're half-right, Axe."
Max: "It would go running INTO the fight faster. You're right."
Axe: "If we had a fucking xenobiologist on our crew, he'd be compelled by this train of thought."

Apparently, on searching, as is usual for anything with 40 years of competing fluff, every answer can be right.

[luffy316]

Max: "Matt, did you not realize the subtitle to this game? Dark Cloud 2: Adventures In the Magic Kingdom?
Charlie: "...2."
Matt: "No..."
Max: "It was really proactive of them to make sequels to two games and then make them one game."
Charlie: "I mean, that's what Kingdom Hearts is most the time."
Max: "I suppose so..."
Matt: "Except that its sequels to two of itself."

[luffy316]

Matt: "Everyone watches out Darkcloud 2 playthrough."
Max: "Of course. The universe watches Dark Cloud 2."
Matt: "Even you, Mr. President."
Max: "Thank you for noticing us, Mr. Trump. Fuck you. And now we're shut down. I'm so sorry."
Charlie: "I mean, you act like he's still gonna be president by the time this comes out. He's already speed-running the Nixon administration.

[luffy316]

Matt: "There's a lot of Kevin McCaliser vs X questions."
Charlie: "We all know Solid Snake would win. But not with his dignity."

Susan: "The commenters will tell us."
James: "They know better than I do."
Kevin: "It's not our fault that everything you say is fucking quotable."
James: "It's not my fault either!"
Travis: "I blame Greg. Greg, this is your fault."

Kevin: "Dammit, every time I'm in a game and I try to buy bagpipes, they say no."
Max: "You've never been in a game that I've run!"

[luffy316]

James: "The ork navigator is constantly screaming with purple lightning shooting out of his eyes."
Ork: "AAAAAAAAGH!"
Max: "Is there any roll I could make to see if that's supposed to be happening, or if it's a reaction to something?"
James: "If you were yourself a warp'ead, your answer would be 'Uh'nuh."


Max: "Yes, I'll read his aura."
James: "His aura says AAAAAAAAAGH!"
Travis: "There's a little bit of Waaagh in there. There's always that 4th one for free."
James: "Honestly, Waaagh is number two. The third is just 'FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

[luffy316]

Kevin: "Give that man thirty lashes and a promotion."

Josh: "You get a Khorne. But we call it 'maize."
Max: "Where I come from, we call it 'labyrinth."
Travis: "Let's not go down this linguistic rabbit hole. ...or corn hole, you might call it."

Kevin: "You been reading any Lovecraft lately? Can we get more description on that?"
"It's a spooky spooky monster with spooky spooky body parts."

Herzog: "Man, I get goosebumps whenever she gets all captainy like that."

James: "There's lots of ways to go about this. Most of which are horrible."

Ax: "Here I thought being a puritan would be boring. But you forget that rogue traders have a huge ego. They have to. They grow up being told that they're like the top .0001% of humanity."
James: "And largely they're right!"
Ax: "But fuck this little asshole."

[luffy316]

Max: "I didn't dual class so much as I just gave up."

Max: "You hear a noise behind you, like glass on wood."
James: "You hear someone Silent Hilling up behind you."

Ax: "Let me go get my crying handkerchief."
James: "You don't always have yours on you? Amateur."

[Sabwones]

I have no specific quotes, but Max's Crow-speak was beautiful.

"Yes-yes. Yes. Pretty. Pretty like me."