A Candypunk Earth?

[crazon]

Alright folks, here's the situation.
On a dare I am going to introduce an alternate timeline in my Timewatch campaign where Candy-Golems inherit the Earth. It will also involve a Candy Clown Assassin at some point in game. This is the background for the alternate history thus far:

"In 1594 AD, The Golem was created, but by a Rabbi who was also a confectioner and so the creature was made from candied sweets. Something further altered to have the Golem gain sentience and the knowledge to reproduce. It rebelled and humanity was swiftly replaced by a race of Candy-Golems. Now in an age of prosperity and “modern” time, a Candypunk civilization dominates the planet. Massive colorful metropolises and large traveling entertainment caravans ala a circus troupe made into a migrant nation."

I know a bunch of us here are masters at word-play and puns (Looking at you Luffy in particular, but I know there are others). I'm willing to accept/work in any candy/sweets based features of an Earth in a modern society now dominated by Candy-Golems. If you have ideas for this Earth, please post them here. I look forward to any suggestions.

[Sabwones]

Children of the Candy Corn - Terrifying cult of child-like candy golems who ambush unwitting victims and sacrifice them to 'He Who Walks Behind The Counter' inside an ancient temple (actually a human-era candy store)

President William Taffy - You get the idea.

Choq-ille O'Neal - Not proud of this one either.

The Caramel Out Of Space - Something something sticky cosmic horror. Be thankful I didn't go with 'At The Marzipan Mountains Of Madness'.

I'll go.

[crazon]

Children of the Candy Corn - Terrifying cult of child-like candy golems who ambush unwitting victims and sacrifice them to 'He Who Walks Behind The Counter' inside an ancient temple (actually a human-era candy store)

President William Taffy - You get the idea.

Choq-ille O'Neal - Not proud of this one either.

The Caramel Out Of Space - Something something sticky cosmic horror. Be thankful I didn't go with 'At The Marzipan Mountains Of Madness'.

I'll go.

President William Taffy: (1909-1913) “Presidents come and go, but the Sugar Court goes on forever.”

No, dont leave, this gold!

[Juju-Monster-Man]

It's like both super early and incredibly later so bare with the wierd ones.

Hershey Kissinger (based off Henry Kissinger) - Controversial Political Scientist and Diplomat

Twizzler - Film about the dangers and excitement of chasing wild Twizzlers in the MidWest of Unites Tastes

PopRock-ets -Space travel is only possible by the use of PopRocks and a secret liquid accelerant

The Pull-and-Peel - An extreme form of torture where you strip the layers from your confectionary victims one piece at a time.

[Sabwones]

Milk Dud-Duds - A banned form of ammunition containing a liquid caramel core that expands on impact, causing massive damage.

Treacle Mines - Supposedly mythical sources of pre-rise confectionary, sealed in barrels and buried for unknown reasons, they're worth a small fortune alone, let alone a whole mine's worth.

Saltwater Taffy & The Fisherman's Friend - Intrepid seafarers and explorers, with their deeds now catalogued in a series of novels and newspaper serials, they were last seen setting sail for the notorious Nougat Triangle for reasons unknown.

[luffy316]

I feel like there's some something to be done with the culture concerning edibility

-if they eat, there's probably a lot of concerns and rules about when and what you CAN eat.
stop fucking eating the bank, criminal scum!

we have to hide the body! eat it!

I could spend my money... or just skip the middle man and eat it

go out and salvage the shrapnel from the warzone. shit's delicious


-if they don't eat... totally revamped economy. any growing or crafting of candy is now for weapons, construction and such


also The Big Whopper (musician), Hershey Highway, the Milky Way galaxy, Warheads... shit writes itself. I also happen to be working on a Gobblin' scenario involving a candy factory, and the name of the guards is The Jawbreakers (they are NOT knowingly named after the candy; it's their marshmallow guns loaded with rocks)