Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Matt: "That's not even the embarassing story I'm going to tell. My one friend had Mario Party, but I didn't own Mario Party. So my friends and I made up an analog version of Mario Party. We had all the minigames, but we created a dice mechanic..."
Charlie: "What I'm hearing is that you made a superior version of Mario Party."

James: "I sneak behind the zombie and offer it a fresh flame broiled Whopper."
Matt: "No, you are not the Sneak King."
James: "PROVE IT!"

[luffy316]

Charlie: "When you do the voice, you wanna start with the Dr Light from Mega Man 8. You know. A homeless man eating an acorn."

[Capman]

Matt: "That's not even the embarassing story I'm going to tell. My one friend had Mario Party, but I didn't own Mario Party. So my friends and I made up an analog version of Mario Party. We had all the minigames, but we created a dice mechanic..."
Charlie: "What I'm hearing is that you made a superior version of Mario Party."

[luffy316]

James: "I think I just started a flame war with the MMA community."
Matt: "Yea, a lot of MMA fighters listen to podcasts."
Charlie: "At least we won't get any hatemail from boxers, because they can't type with boxing gloves on their hands."
James: "Guys... what if they want to fight me IRL?"
Charlie: "Then tell them to come down to the Drunk and the Ugly LLC Company Headquarters, HQ and Day Spa for an ass-kicking."

[luffy316]

Charlie: "They couldn't just act like Uranus and Neptune were just cousins anymore. Also, boys turning into girls. that was illegal back then
they would have gone to anime jail."
Max: "Like everyone involved with Utena."
Charlie: "Wait, what happens to people in Utena?"
Max: "Nothing, it just had the most homosexual undertones."

[Ninjaguiden]

Man, Utena was so great. But I don't know what you're on about Max

Spoiler: show

Just two close friends relaxing (shirts off since it's a hot day) on a red sports car while an other, also shirtless, boy takes gravure photos off them. Perfectly heterosexual.

[luffy316]

Charlie: "I forgot sailors tend to swallow their words."
Ax: "This is why Declan's a boson and not a boatswain."
Charlie: "And why they're called gunnuls instead of 'gun holes."
James: "There's a lot of problems."
Ax: "Terrible story: Declan's name used to be 'Declaration."
James: "Declaration McKeirnan... That's a blacksploitation detective. Well, definitely not McKeirnan."

[eliasswift]

From the text chat of Jon's Base Raider game, in the context of John Henry being the owner of the base.

Max: God is this the thor of this setting? "BY THE HAMMER OF JOHN HENRY!"
Luke: It's the blackploitation Thor

[luffy316]

Matt: "Selling weed is still a federal crime."
Charlie: "Well we have to have another Civil War about this.... except this time, it's about something important, and not whether or not it's cool to own people. Turns out it's not! Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. So says our lord and savior, Optimus Prime."

[Capman]

Matt: "Selling weed is still a federal crime."
Charlie: "Well we have to have another Civil War about this.... except this time, it's about something important, and not whether or not it's cool to own people. Turns out it's not! Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. So says our lord and savior, Optimus Prime."

Hahaha what was that even from

[luffy316]

the last Pokemon random run. Charlie went into how he wasn't on Discord, so therefore he's on the deep web. He asked if you wanted to buy some weed for bit coins, and you pointed out how now you were all on the government watch lists

[luffy316]

James: "His parents probably wired him some money. Gonna throw a party. Gonna get krunk."
Nate: "On a scale of 1 to 10, just how krunk are you getting tonight?"
James: "Krunk!"
Manda: "James, you may just be an incredible actor, because I almost believe that you'd never been to a college party before."
Kevin: "Are you other kids also riding dirty?"


damn you, Luffington Threeston Sixteensy, for not remembering to check all of the Drunker and Uglier

[luffy316]

Manda: "Is Dianisces really just Party Cat?"
James: "Your recent parties haven't been up to par... ty."



Kevin: "I said I'd do you a favor..."
Manda's Sloth Demon: "Are we still at the bank?"
Kevin: "We're not in a bank. We're in an office building."
MSD: "Whaaat? I thought we were in a bank!"
Kevin: "No, the bank's across the street."
MSD: "There's a BANK around here!? Go rob it!"


Josh: "Why does a demon get a Monty Python joke?"
James: "Look, he's possessed a lot of people. Some of them squandered it."


Josh: "By the way, internet, I am playing Ishimanast of wrath and falsities, waver of destructive lies, chief deva of a hundred hosts, sower of doubt and scourge of the savage world
Sam: "He gets a new title every birthday."
James: "So he's like... nine?"


Manda: "Eat her dreams!"
Kevin: "I can't!"
Manda: "What!?"
Kevin: "You didn't give me that power!"
Manda: "Are you sure you're trying hard enough? I don't think your heart's into this. Did you try?"
Kevin: "Yea, okay... I'll go eat her dreams."
Matt: "How do you do that?"
Kevin: "I just go touch her head and say 'Yup. Eatin' her dreams right now."
Matt: "Which does nothing because you don't have that power. You're just half-hearted chewing on her hair."


Manda: "Kidnap her!"
Kevin: "I have a roommate!"
Manda: "You could use more!"

[Ninjaguiden]

Charlie: "You will acknowledge my dank memes!"

[luffy316]

Matt: "I only saw the gif." *pronounced as jiff
Charlie: "MATT! You will pronounce that like an American, Matt!"
Matt: "That's what the creator calls it. Also it flows better than 'gif."
Charlie: "YOU'LL flow better... when you're... dead!"
Matt: "Probably. Until rigor mortis sets in."
Charlie: "This is what I get when people call me out on saying 'herb."
Matt: "I mean, herb is one that makes sense, but it's not common in the United States. It's more common in England. But they also call things like 'to-mah-to' ad they talk about palellas."
Charlie: "Yea, and they pronounce it jiff. I mean gif! FUCK! Don't try this this Bugs Bunny shit with me!"