Author Topic: The Freida Games  (Read 3092 times)


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The Freida Games
« on: December 08, 2016, 05:44:31 AM »
Okay, so there's this site where you can randomly generate a Hunger Games event - with people from various Districts, events, yadda yadda yadda. It's cool - but the really fun part is that you can take everything, the contestants, the events, etc, and change them to whatever you see fit. So I thought to myself; "Hey, I really liked Fredia's, why don't I do something with those guys?"

So I did.

Now, what you're gonna see here was actually a test run before I changed any of the events, as I originally wanted to re-skin this as a 'prank war', hence the title, but the end result of the trial run was so good, I just had to share.


The Reaping
Spoiler: show

I figured it'd make sense to put couples into the same District, then anyone with good relationships with their Monster, then just anyone I could think of. I'm sorry, but I couldn't find pictures of some people, so y'all gonna get somethin' from the sack for those last two guys...

The Bloodbath
Spoiler: show

Amazingly, the Bloodbath is actually quite free of bloodshed - with most everyone simply grabbing gear and legging it - George and Hammerstein apparently planning a fishing trip together.
Meanwhile, Molly wastes no time in showing she's not fucking around by hunting down and straight-up murdering an MIB agent.
Damn girl, what the fuck.

Day 1
Spoiler: show

Also, please stop bullying Thoth, guys.

Day 1's Fallen

Alas, poor expendable mook, we hardy knew ye.

Night 1

The night is fairly quiet, apart from the swift and brutal demise of not one but two monsters, plus Julie (as George giveth, so he taketh away), at the hands of 'Team Awkward Love Triangle'.
No, not that one. The other one.
I mean the other one.
Dammit, you know what I mean.
Meanwhile, in a secluded clearing, Fenix Romeo's the fuck outta there.

Day 2
Spoiler: show

Two more deaths on Day 2 - George stumbles into Mann's 'trap' (presumably standing there with her mouth open) and gets nailed, but that's nothing compared to the scale of August's fuckup, leaving Emma to die.
Son, now you got that Scott rage comin'.
Ya fucked up.
In other news, Yuji and Tim have a slingshot-off.

Day 2's Fallen

Two monsters down on Day 2 (maybe three, depending on your views on George), and the cast of ISS is practically wiped off the map, but not without the loss of some major characters.
It's been a busy couple of days, I guess.

Night 2

With the herd pretty well thinned, it's time to set up camp for the night. Although Molly is sharing a camp with two traumatized child soldiers and a literal God of darkness, nightmares and knives, she still tells the freakiest story.
In other news, Scott displays a remarkable rebound from the death of his girlfriend by trying to snake Caleb out from under Manny's nose. The SWINE.

Day 3
Spoiler: show

After the carnage of the last couple of days, the group finally has a chance to assess the damage. Condor, having lost George, decides to have Odyn take her out, but naturally, that shadowy bastard's not in the mood to help anyone.
Meanwhile, Molly stalks a sentient catfish. Sounds about right.

Day 3's Fallen

All quiet on the Western front. The men with the cannons nip out for a quick smoke while it's quiet.

Night 3

The night brings introspection and the gnawing teeth of doubt into the group.
Scott and Etsu (quite rightly) question their sanity, while Tim damn near has a breakdown.
Can we drop Dr. G in there? These kids need a hug in between all the murder.
No? Oh. Right.

Day 4
Spoiler: show

Ty, despite being a powerful psychic, is defeated by poor instructions on his landmine.
"Frond towards enema? What does tha- *BLAM*

Day 4's Fallen

With Ty gone, we can finally strike 'Arena destroyed in a colossal shockwave of psi energy' from the sweepstakes board. sorry, guys.

Night 4

In light of what just happened, Jingles is immediately suspicious of why someone would send her a bomb.
Not cool, guys.

Day 5
Spoiler: show

The day of 'Anything you can do, I can do better' as Tim and Nele construct wildly different qualities of shack, Yuji and Jingles go spear fishing (in the distance, Namazu screams in horror) and August goes flower picking with Shawty.
Meanwhile, someone sends Odyn a bomb. I think there's someone out there who just wants people to blow themselves up.
Damn cheap-ass Chinese knock-off landmines.

Day 5's Fallen

The producers pace nervously around the control booth. NOTHING'S HAPPENING GODDAMNIT.

Night 5

Another peaceful night of storytelling, singing songs and-
...dammit, Etsu.

Day 6
Spoiler: show

Dawn of day 6 sees yet another explosive enter the arena, this time into the hands of Caleb, perhaps the only guy thus far who might have an idea of how to use it, what with all the GTA.
In other news, Nele chases Odyn through the forest, screaming obscenities and wielding a brick in a sock.

Day 6's Fallen

Etsu, apparently believing that being Japanese is like being a Highlander, ensures than can be only one via a butter knife to the brain stem.
Damn, girl. Harsh.

Night 6

August, bro, she's, like, 12. What the fuck.
Night 6 is indeed the night of furious snuggling, with August probably now on some kind of register, Namazu somehow negotiating some zombie cuddles from Jingles, Caleb and Shawty sharing a tender moment together, and Tim mentally scarring everyone as he plays the big spoon to the Creepy Mall Santa.
This might explain why Nele's screaming for help.

Day 7
Spoiler: show

Jingles does her best 'corpse hidden in a bush' impression, which obviously works pretty well.
Mann is sent even more explosives in a desperate attempt to make something happen.

Day 7's Fallen

One of the cannoneers is hauled away from the podium after bellowing "KILL SOMEONE YOU LAZY LITTLE BASTARDS!"

Night 7

While Nele dreams of being in a fridge, Namazu is caught by Condor and killed. The delicious aroma of grilled catfish fills the area.
I mean, it's tragic, but damn, that smells fine.

Day 8
Spoiler: show

While Caleb discovers that he really should have watched The Princess Bride, Mann is ambushed by a couple of gangly white boys and eviscerates them both.
In other news, Odyn finally manages to scare someone, and Molly decides to spare Scott the indignity of being murdered by a grade-schooler.



Day 8's Fallen

I call today's list of the fallen 'A bunch of idiots who got their own dumb asses killed...and Namazu'.

Night 8

Night 8 is the night of 'DUDE NO DON'T LET THEM IN' as Shawty allows Molly to enter his cabin, forgetting rule #1 of vampires and scary little girls, while Scott rebounds yet again, this time with...Odyn?
Boy, he's no good for you. You can do better.
Like, Shawty's a cool dude.

Day 9
Spoiler: show

Day 9 sees our tributes stalking in search of prey. However, as they both decided to go clockwise around the arena, nobody finds anyone else.
In other news, Molly walks into a tree.

Day 9's Fallen

Another day, another complete lack of anybody killing anybody. This is looking less like the Hunger Games and more like a crappy holiday in the mountains.

Night 9

The night is long and full of...chatting. Shawty invites Manny over for tea and biscuits, while group's monsters, birds and monster-birds discuss optimal strategies for killing motherfuckers.

Day 10
Spoiler: show

As yet more explosives are airdropped into the arena (you think these kids would take the hint), Condor 'treats' Etsu's wounds. Which is to say, Etsu gets to enjoy a nice honking slab of Mayan Fire God flesh.


Condor. Honey. Darling. In a pitch-black arena, you're the only one there who literally has their own built in light source...and you still blunder into something?
No sympathy. Get out.

Day 10's Fallen

Good night, sweet Condor.
You blind bastard.

Night 10

Night 10 is full of surprises - Jingles beats the tar outta Scott, but lets him go. Molly, at this point confirming that she's some kind of dormant incarnation of an Elder God or something, whoops Odyn, only to let him flee as well.
The best surprise of all, though, is Manny finally running into Mann, along with Nele and having an awesome time explaining to his Mom what 'Blood Rhino' is.
For real, this one scene made the whole thing worth it for me.

The Feast
Spoiler: show

With new goodies available, the group fight over resources. Scott makes the near-Tales from the Wood mistake of trying to get between a Devil and her meat. Jingles makes the...I suppose re-Tales from the Wood mistake of seeing Manny with an armful of bombs and shouting 'Hey! Let me have one of those!' and Shawty caves under the pressure and implodes himself.
RIP, son.

Day 11
Spoiler: show

Day 11: Day of the Tree.
With everyone armed to the teeth, fed, watered and ready for action, the most severe injury of the day is Nele scratching himself on some bushes.
In the control booth, the director cracks open another bottle of scotch and weeps into his sandwich.

Day 11's Fallen

Tonight, we mourn the loss of our greatest source of sass, Jingles, and the loss of our most expensive voice actor, James Earl Jones (aka Shawty).

Night 11

The loss of Jingles and Shawty is felt by all, falling into a state of mourning...apart from Molly, who frags Odyn with a hand grenade.
Seriously, Molly scares the shit out of me.

Day 12
Spoiler: show

Unable to channel his rage into avenging Emma, Scott takes on two of the most dangerous kids still in the game and wipes the floor with them.
Then again, Mann's still in play.
Scott, I think you just fucked up.

Day 12's Fallen

Damn. One of the biggest bads, one of the fan favorites and that other chick are all out. We're close. You can smell it. All but the tough, the lucky and the downright insane are left standing.
It's anyone's game.

Night 12

That night, Nele is visited by the hatchet fairy.
Scott lies awake, realizing the gravity of his mistake.
Mann is going to destroy him.

Day 13
Spoiler: show


Day 13's Fallen

Four tributes.
Four hatchets.
One day to go.

Night 13

As the grim reality of their situation becomes inescapable, Mann and Nele share one last peaceful night together.
Molly, on the other hand, remains a complete bastard and destroys all of Scott's stuff.

Day 14
Spoiler: show

So it comes to this. Molly, Nele and Mann throw themselves into a melee, with Mann's fury seeing her beat out the other two. She must avenge her son. She must find Soctt and make him pa-
*distant explosion and muffled squawk*
...well, shit.

Day 14's Fallen

Whether through honorable combat or instant karma, our final three go down, leaving one survivor...

The Winner

Mann is the last one standing, but at a tragic cost.
Ending D: Phyrric Victory

The Tale Of The Tape
Spoiler: show

Despite a fairly bloody conflict, most of the kills were only amongst a few tributes - Mann taking the clear lead with 5, followed by Etsu with 4, then Nele and George with 3. Basically all the people with borderline psychotic/sociopathic tendencies killed a lot of people.
Who'd-a thunk it?

Anyway - I hope you enjoyed this rambling descent into RNG-fuelled bullshit. I know I did.

« Last Edit: December 08, 2016, 06:00:27 AM by Sabwones »


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Re: The Freida Games
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2016, 09:31:40 AM »
This was stupid but a lot of fun to read.  Thanks for cataloging this.
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Re: The Freida Games
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2016, 06:09:10 PM »
Upon re-reading this, I see what you did there.

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Re: The Freida Games
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2016, 08:54:14 PM »
I...I love this. This is my life now.

So much crackship fodder
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