Drunken Quotes thread

[luffy316]

Baker Boys: “Boysco is going ‘DUN dun, dun dun dundun’ while the other ones are going “doodeedooo Doodedoooo!”
*to Mission Impossible theme

Fizzled: “I’m  gonna scavenge up a marker and just write Dave in the bottom of his foot.”
Gecko; “New Dave.”
Fizzier: “Yep. He’s gonna write ‘New Dave.”
Dixie: “Now this is a Dave I can get behind!”

[luffy316]

Travis: “Fank you fir callin Squiggy Johns. How can I help you? Reddest delivery you’ve eva seen.”
Max: “We keep da meat red so it gets to you fasta.”

[luffy316]

Max: “I pull up alongside the riders and start pulling sick doughnuts next to them to spell out ‘Fuck you’ but misspelled in fire.”

[luffy316]

Matt: “There’s a lot of chittering and fighting and banging and when you look back the raccoon is now driving the car. On the raccoons first and only action he bashes his car into the other one and they explode. He gives you a salute.”

[luffy316]

Matt: "Surprise, bitches! I brought my own walls!"

[luffy316]

Max: "We flip for the hit location and... his Fuzzy Groin! You hit the monster right in the dingdong!"

[luffy316]

Matt: "Have you ever tried to fuck someone on a pile of stone faces!?"
Kevin: "You shut the fuck up, Matt! I'll do what I want!"
Matt: "You might have a sex accident!"
Kevin: "I prefer 'sexident."

[luffy316]

Baker Boys: “It seems like we’d be the most high-end, richest people if we could live in a car!”

[luffy316]

Charlie: "Hold on. I have no depth perception so I can't tell how far away his ass is."
Matt: "This ass goes on forever!"

[luffy316]

Fizzler points to a car tire
Fizzler: “I pulled that out of a skrat.”
Godly: “I envy their powers...”

[luffy316]

Fizzler: “It’s the last thing our ride need... a Mural of a wizard!”
Goldy: “Wizards suck!”
Baker Boys: “Yea! Wizards suck!”
“We need a goblin wearing a wizard hat he stole off a wizard!”
“And his robes!”
Garza: “And I’m standing here, BEING a goblin who casts magic.”

Fizzler: “I know... flames!”
Group: “Flaaaames!”
Goldy: “Do we have matches?”
Garza: “No no. Fake flames.”
Goldy: “Ohhhh.”
Fizzler: “Flames that never go out.”
Goldy: *long gasp

[luffy316]

Matt: “So Pastry Pals Firescar Clutchgrind Go Go Goldecko.”
Fizzler: “Yes. That is our band.”

[luffy316]

Goldy: This here’s a little ditty about this one time I got ripped in half!”

[luffy316]

Matt: "Don't mess with somebody with a bottle of piss."
James: "They call me The Wet Bandit!"

[luffy316]

Max: "What a terrible night to have an Andrew!"