Charlie: "Who could eat more cheeseburgers, Jughead or Wimpy?!"
Matt: "I don't..."
Charlie: "WAIT! Do you think Jughead is actually Mayor McCheese's dad!?"
Matt: "Like he's eating his own people?"
Charlie: "No, the question is did Jughead ever fuck a hamburger? Just make sweet, sweet love to a hamburger. Because Archie had Betty and Veronica. But Jughead had Big Mac and Wopper."